Besoin d'aide

je voulais savoir si , pour ceux qui parlent anglais, il serait possible de me corriger une rédaction. C'est vraiment très important.
Merci d'avance

voila mon texte si une âme charitable passe par là. svp j'ai vraiment besoin d'aide

I'm going to tell you the scariest and the most horrible story I never heard; when my best friend related it to me, I stayed shocked and petrified during may time.
The story takes place in a small town of London. In the high school of this town, a new pupil arrived: Melissa Hawkins, sixteen years old, orphan. Everyone liked Melissa: she was helpful,polite,attentive to other people; so she had many friends.
For Halloween, she decided to organize a party because her uncle- she was living with him because her parent were dead when she was 6-will be in France for October the thirtyfirst. Melissa invited only ten of her peer although she had many friends. She explained that her uncle told her she couldn't invited many people. She added for the teengars she had invited , that they had to foolw one rule: they had to come alone to her party without any friend or boyfriend.
The day of the part finally arrived. At first everyonewas having fun, but then, some stange thing happened: the teenagers saw that the doors were closed- so they couldn't leave if they santed to do so-they also smelt an horrible thing like carbone dioxyde. So the teenagers asked to Melissa why the doors were closed and what was this strange smell. She answered that they were going to discover everything in the living room. Thus, they went to the living room and sat on the chair. Melissa was standing up, she said:
-Now I can explain you why I have invited you. Today you're going to die, she muttered quietly.
The other teenagers were goggling. One of them said:"It's not a funny joke"
-I'm not joking. You have to pay for what your parents did, answered Melissa
-What are you talking about?
-Of course you don't remeber. Your parents have killed my parents. The police said it was an accident but your parent had drunk and , with their cars, they have run over my parents! So, now you're going to pay for their mistakes.
-STOP! screamed one of the teenagers. That's completely stupid. Let us go!
-No, simply answered Melissa
She striked a match and everything was burning.
All of the teenagers died and the last words of Melissa were:"I'm coming mum' and dad. Don't worry, I've taken revenge for you death"

I'm going to tell you the scariest and the most horrible story I've never heard;

ok je suis sure de rien mais je te mets ma correction en rouge (après je suis pas bilingue non plus!!)

linda025 a écrit:voila mon texte si une âme charitable passe par là. svp j'ai vraiment besoin d'aide

I'm going to tell you the scariest and the most horrible story I ever heard; when my best friend related it to me, I was shocked and petrified during a long time. (j'ai changé je voyais pas ce que tuvoulais dire avec may)
The story takes place in a small town of London. In the high school of this town, a new pupil arrived: Melissa Hawkins, sixteen years old, orphan. Everyone liked Melissa: she was helpful, polite, attentive to other people; so she had many friends.
For Halloween, she decided to organize a party because her uncle- she was living with him because her parent were dead when she was 6-will be in France for October the thirtyfirst. Melissa invited only ten of her peer although she had many friends. She explained that her uncle told her she couldn't invited many people. She added for the teengars she had invited , that they had to follow one rule: they had to come alone to her party without any friend or boyfriend.
The day of the party finally came. At first everyone was having fun, but then, some stange things happened: the teenagers saw that the doors were closed- so they couldn't leave if they wanted to do so-they also smelt an horrible thing like carbone dioxyde. So the teenagers asked to Melissa why the doors were closed and what was this strange smell. She answered that they were going to discover everything in the living room. Thus, they went to the living room and sat on the chair. Melissa was standing up, she said:
-Now I can explain you why I have invited you. Today you're going to die, she muttered quietly.
The other teenagers were goggling. One of them said:"It's not a funny joke"
-I'm not joking. You have to pay for what your parents did, answered Melissa
-What are you talking about?
-Of course you don't remeber. Your parents have killed my parents. The police said it was an accident but your parent were drunk and , with their cars, they have run over my parents! So, now you're going to pay for their mistakes.
-STOP! screamed one of the teenagers. That's completely stupid. Let us go!
-No, simply answered Melissa
She striked a match and everything was burning.
All of the teenagers died and the last words of Melissa were:"I'm coming mum' and dad. Don't worry, I've taken revenge for you death"

je pense qu'il n'y a pas beaucoup d'erreure mais bon je me débrouille en anglais sans être bilingue pour autant !

merci beaucoup c'est très gentil ca m'aide énormément merci !!!

de rien!!

ion_ion a écrit:I'm going to tell you the scariest and the most horrible story I've never heard;

meme ca j'ai pas pigé lol, je suis un cas moi